So I received Your letter and Your packet today, that was on of the best things that happened during this whole day...The other one is our call, I was so afraid it couldn't work again, but it worked ^^
Well, You know was not that nice, so I was about to cry when I got Your letter, and I really cried... I cried as a little girl would cry...but I did not really feel better after screaming out so loud...I just felt really, really better after our first call...I was so glad I received Your letter, I was so happy when I read Your mail, your Poems (Thank You!)...I started crying even more ^^' but I felt better. Today, I told You I don't like MSN, well that's really and completely truth in Your case: It's so much better to hear Your voice than just Your writings...(I'm becoming sad again) Well, it would be easier with a webcam, but we'll see and find a solution to all our problems, together...
We're calling right now, you're cleaning up Your room and I finished eating my ice cream ^^ That's so great to hear Your, though I'd prefer lying in Your arms and just see You smile...You have done the most beautiful thing someone ever did for me: You gave me my smile back, I just ahve to listen to Your Voice or to read one of Your letters, I just have to be thinking of You or of what You're doing and I smile...
You said You won't look down or be sad...but I think it's OK. if You're sad, because,...well that's completely stupid but I don't want to be the only one sad, always relying on You...I want to do the same for You, to be there for You too...I miss You so much...We're always together but I still need to look into Your eyes, to feel Your hand in mine. Just to see You watch over me (fixation of guardian angels)
He would spread his Wings,
To protect the Ones he loves,
To help them Fly...
I used to say guardian Angels are egoist (what actually is really stupid ^^), I mean they can not be everywhere, so if they forget some people... They just have to go their way without them...That's what I do...but I'm not alone: I got You ^^ And all you've given me ^^
I'm sitting on my desk, the cat is sleeping on my bed and I'm smiling, thinking of You and of our phone call that lasts so long ^^ I still hear You playing the piano...I miss You
Yeah, was thinking about sending this before 4 p.m. but I didn't feel good...I hope I can call You once again tonight...Since You're back to U.S. I'm kind of crying most of the time. It's not Your fault, but I feel like before, the sadness was always hidden inside, I just cried inside. And now, the tears just don't stop falling...You said it's OK to cry, but not all the time! I don't have any problem with what You say, but I just can't do it right...I feel so stupid...
It's getting cold over here, 20 mn ago the sun was shining so much...I hope the weather will be fine at Your place, Sunnyvale...^^ I'm still eating chocolate, I can't stop...^^' ( could, but I don't want to...Does it mean I can't?) Auu! an ant just bit me, that hurts...Why did it that?? I better don't ask, don't want to see it again ^^' (Still hurting...)
Have spend my time by singing around...in english, french, german and japanese ^^ I don't know what all the others...Oh! Sun goes to sleep ^^ Sky color salmon, clouds color pale rose and the rest is light blue and white... ^^' But the sun still is going down...If I want to take some more pics I have to hurry, I'll continue later...Luv You!
No photos today - I forget to recharge the camera ^^' I'll make the last pics of the house tomorrow...Oh My God I'm hungry! I hope we don't eat at 9 o'clock...Even if we begin eating now, we won't finish before 9:00, so...Actually, I didn't eat lunch, so I finished those crisps and started eating apple rings (^^) and your chocolate, but I'm still hungry ^^' You should check the lyrics of "Far away" -Nickleback.
I also have to -once again!- thank you...^^ for Your beautiful poems...I start reading Your letter, I nearly can't stop reading them again and again...Just smiling around. You said I should tell You whenever I need something, You said You don't want me to go alone through all the creulties of life... I also want to thank for this...but, I just need to sense Your presence around to make me feel better, to make me smile (or cry ^^')
We just stopped talking...We had such a little time together...They really have choosed the good day to come here...I'm sorry about that...I feel so bad knowing You're staying all alone in Your room while the party's going on...I have to go to eat, sorry...I'll come back after that, hold on... ^^'
I don't know what's going over there, but it's really bothering me...I know birthdays can be sometimes sad and you just feel like that's a normal day: I'm sad and bored. I want to be alone, looked in my room with my bubble...But sometimes, you need to scream out help me getting out of my bubble, it's not that easy...So, You don't feel good, and I'm so far away, I can't even call You when You need to...You're always there for me making silences so I'm not alone, don't need to talk because You're all around me...speaking when I need You to fill the silence...But I feel like I'm just doing nothing for You in return. You're always there for me, but I don't know what I can do for You...I'm feeling so bad about that. You told me, if I need something I should tell You, but me, what can I give to You? I don't have anything that could help You, You'll maybe say that's not true...but then tell me what I can do for You, I don't know what You need. I don't even really know what I need.
I need You...but I won't ask You that, it would be completely stupid and egoist from me...And I knkow You're always with me, I'm thinking of You, writing You this letter...What else can I do? You'll just receive this letter one week later, too late. And how could You suddenly know, oh, right now Anaïs' thinking of Me...That would be most of the time. So I just hope You went to all the others, had fun, enjoyed Your party. I'm With You...(By the Way, You should check the lyrics of "Keep holding on" - Avril Lavigne) sorry ^^' Just check... I love You,
sure You won't forget that...so, hmm - Yeah,
(No relation to some other song...^^') --->"Keep holding on" 'til the Time will come...Anaïs